Welcome to Moe’s, Tiger!
Okay, so after a video shoot the other day I was in Moe’s Southwest Grill to snag some nachos. As I stood in line, I noticed an out-of-place white piece of paper hanging from the menu board. When I took a closer look, this is what I found. Hilarious.
Bauer vs. Claus
Okay, we didn’t create this video, but I sure wish we had. This is one of the best video mash-ups I’ve seen in a while. In it, Counter Terrorism Unit agent Jack Bauer is interrogating Santa about what he is doing with the United States. You’ll laugh and you’ll cry.
The Knocking
I awoke suddenly to the repetitive falls of a hammer. Strangely, my first thoughts were of the nail being so hopelessly persecuted. Did it make any attempt to escape its doom? Did it feel the pain? Was it rendered numb after the first blow? Or, was it at peace; knowing its purpose—its reason for being—was being sovereignly fulfilled? Not a minute after first hearing the hammer, I realized that it was not the sound of a hammer at all. Knocking? Someone was at the door. Knock. Knock. Knock. The essence of persistence, I thought. I looked at my bedside clock; the one she gave me. It has been almost 14 months since… and I still haven’t been able to get rid of it. The clock’s red glow screamed 3:16 AM. Don’t they know what time it is? I was getting more and more irritable with every passing pound. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. “I’m sleeping!” I yelled just before burying my face in the pillow. Knock. Knock. Knock. There was only one way to end this.
Scream
I woke abruptly to strident shrills of terror bouncing back and forth like racquetball off the bare, cream colored walls of my room. Violent screams that must have already woken the whole neighborhood permeated my eardrums. My mind swam through its skull like a large domestic goldfish in a small bowl. Cold. Terrified. Alone.
Earlier that evening I had been reading—what exactly I can’t recall at the time—but I was engrossed; I couldn’t put the book down. Somehow this particular day had seemed to jam forty-eight hours into twenty-four; a cruel joke. My head pounded; back ached; neck tightened. My eyes were begging for rest. In innocent defiance I kept reading; word after word, page after page, and chapter after chapter. I would not let my eyes win this battle; carpe diem.
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